{"id":348,"date":"2025-11-19T01:42:35","date_gmt":"2025-11-19T01:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/?p=348"},"modified":"2026-02-08T19:16:09","modified_gmt":"2026-02-08T19:16:09","slug":"nontoxic-control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/nontoxic-control\/","title":{"rendered":"30 – Nontoxic control"},"content":{"rendered":"

Power, Control, and Learning to Feel Again<\/h2>\n

In group today we dug into power and control\u2014not the toxic versions we usually think of, but the healthy kind. The kind that shows up in boundaries, self-awareness, and emotional responsibility. It reminded me of a lesson I drilled into my kids when they were young: you can\u2019t control what other people do, but you can control how you choose to respond.<\/p>\n

I understood that lesson on the surface back then, but today we went a few layers deeper. We talked about how boundaries aren\u2019t walls or punishments; they\u2019re clarity. \u00a0They\u2019re the line between what we allow into our lives and what we refuse to carry\u2014a purpose they serve well. Setting them, communicating them, and sometimes enforcing them isn\u2019t weakness\u2014it\u2019s strength used wisely.<\/p>\n

But the part that hit hardest was realizing that I\u2019ve spent years learning to control my emotions\u2026 and almost no time learning how to feel them again. The military teaches you how to push through, how to compartmentalize, how to stay steady no matter what\u2019s going on inside or around you. \u00a0Remain calm in the chaos. However, It doesn\u2019t teach you how to safely open the valve later. So things stack up, layer after layer, until eventually it cracks\u2014because even the strongest structure breaks when the pressure has nowhere to go. \u00a0I\u2019ve seen this truth even in some of our nation\u2019s most elite warriors, and until recently I didn\u2019t understand how it could happen.<\/p>\n

We talked about healthy ways to actually feel anger instead of burying it. Letting it move. Letting it matter. And yes\u2014my two go-to outlets both made the list: art and writing. I\u2019m grateful for that, because these two practices have saved me more times than I can count.<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s drawing was originally a design concept a friend asked me to create for them. It holds pieces of their story\u2014Aloha, family, legacy, the Hawaiian islands, a hibiscus, plumeria, and a pineapple filled with initials, a paw print, a treble clef, and a wave. \u00a0As it evolved and I finished it, it ended up fitting today\u2019s theme too.<\/p>\n

\"Pineapple
The pineapple symbolizes hospitality, while the plumeria and hibiscus symbolize renewal and living life to the fullest.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Art<\/a> lets me express things I don\u2019t always have words for. It gives my emotions a shape before I try to explain them. And writing lets me process those feelings and understand them instead of stuffing them down. Together, they help me reclaim something I didn\u2019t even realize I\u2019d lost\u2014my ability to feel in real time, not just after the fact.<\/p>\n

Today wasn\u2019t comfortable. But it was needed. It was about trusting the process\u2014and it reminded me that strength isn\u2019t just holding the line. Sometimes it\u2019s knowing when to soften, when to speak up, and when to finally feel what you\u2019ve been carrying.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If parts of this reflection resonate and you\u2019re considering a tattoo or custom artwork that reflects your journey, leave a message below or visit Honor and Ink\u2122. I\u2019d love to talk. Your story deserves to be seen in a way that feels honest and personal. \u00a0I\u2019m here to help you turn your experiences into something meaningful and built to last.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today wasn\u2019t comfortable. But it was needed. It was about trusting the process\u2014and it reminded me that strength isn\u2019t just holding the line. Sometimes it\u2019s knowing when to soften, when to speak up, and when to finally feel what you\u2019ve been carrying.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":352,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[36,9,26,30],"tags":[19,16,37,20,18,22,24,35,13,25],"class_list":["post-348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-art-therapy","category-motivational","category-reflection","category-tattoo-design","tag-art-motivation","tag-artist-hour","tag-boundaries","tag-creative-growth","tag-drawing-challenge","tag-perspective","tag-positivity","tag-rebuilding","tag-tattoo-artist-journey","tag-trusting-the-process"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":592,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions\/592"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}