{"id":341,"date":"2025-11-18T08:41:18","date_gmt":"2025-11-18T08:41:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/?p=341"},"modified":"2026-02-08T19:16:01","modified_gmt":"2026-02-08T19:16:01","slug":"resistance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/resistance\/","title":{"rendered":"29 – Resistance"},"content":{"rendered":"

When the Head Knows but the Heart Isn\u2019t There Yet<\/h2>\n

Lately I\u2019ve been walking around with this strange split inside me. I can understand my stuck points. I can see exactly how certain patterns don\u2019t serve me anymore. I can break them down, explain them, and even trace where they came from.<\/p>\n

And yet\u2026 I still feel what I feel.<\/p>\n

Even when I don\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n

Even when I wish I could just be \u201cnormal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Group therapy gave me a quote this week that put a name to the tension:<\/p>\n

\u201cResistance is when we believe something, but the outcome doesn\u2019t meet our expectations.\u201d<\/p>\n

That hit like a hammer.<\/p>\n

Because that\u2019s exactly the gap I\u2019m living in \u2014 the space where insight and emotion don\u2019t line up. Where I know better, but I don\u2019t feel better. Where growth feels like climbing uphill with my own shadow pulling on my bootlaces.<\/p>\n

A Shift in Symbols.<\/p>\n

My Artist Hour<\/a> drawings have started to change, and I think they\u2019re telling the truth before I can. I\u2019m sketching fewer symbols from Hawaii and more from Texas. It wasn\u2019t intentional \u2014 it just\u2026 happened.<\/p>\n

Part of me is already drifting toward retirement next year, toward going back home, toward whatever life looks like after the military. And another part of me isn\u2019t ready at all.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s pride.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s grief.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s relief.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s fear.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s excitement.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s loss.<\/p>\n

Conflicting emotions all showing up at the same time, all demanding to be felt.<\/p>\n

\"Traditional
The swallow is a symbol of finding your way home after a long journey, while the bluebonnet represents my home.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

One of the pieces I drew was a traditional swallow carrying a Texas bluebonnet \u2014 simple, clean, hopeful, and pointed straight toward home.<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s the other piece:<\/p>\n

\"Skull
A warning to myself and others that I am fragile, and a request for understanding.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A skull shaped like a grenade, a rose beneath it, and the caption:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fragile!<\/p>\n

Not like a flower\u2026<\/p>\n

More like a grenade\u2026<\/p>\n

Still, handle with care.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s where I really am.<\/p>\n

Not broken \u2014 just dangerous when shaken.<\/p>\n

Not delicate \u2014 but not invincible either.<\/p>\n

A mix of beauty and volatility.<\/p>\n

A mix of things ending and things beginning.<\/p>\n

A Season of Transition.<\/p>\n

Understanding the path forward doesn\u2019t magically clear the debris inside. Knowing what needs to change doesn\u2019t guarantee the feelings will cooperate. But I\u2019m learning that this in-between space \u2014 the uncomfortable, chaotic, conflicting middle \u2014 is where real growth happens.<\/p>\n

Sometimes the art speaks first.<\/p>\n

Sometimes the feelings show up loud and messy.<\/p>\n

And sometimes the head has to wait patiently for the heart to catch up.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m somewhere in that process right now.<\/p>\n

And maybe that\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you would like me to put into ink or art what you can\u2019t find words for, reach out to me at\u00a0Honor and Ink <\/a>and let me know how I can help.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Understanding the path forward doesn\u2019t magically clear the debris inside. Knowing what needs to change doesn\u2019t guarantee the feelings will cooperate. But I\u2019m learning that this in-between space \u2014 the uncomfortable, chaotic, conflicting middle \u2014 is where real growth happens.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":345,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[36,9,26],"tags":[19,16,20,5,22,13,15,25],"class_list":["post-341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-art-therapy","category-motivational","category-reflection","tag-art-motivation","tag-artist-hour","tag-creative-growth","tag-healing","tag-perspective","tag-tattoo-artist-journey","tag-tattooing-101","tag-trusting-the-process"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=341"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/341\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":591,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/341\/revisions\/591"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/honorandink.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}